SEVEN SPOOFS OF THE WORLD!!!

Note:This post has been in the stash since quite a w'hile now...so it might seem a li'l redundent at this point of time!!!

Now that we all have cast our votes and made the TAJ an undisputed wonder of the world ,and along with that inconspicously given birth to a new millionare-the guy who was behind the non-profit association( which somehow landed up earning millions ,takin 10 paise each out of ur n mine pockets ) ,and now that the media has finally realized that it has blighted the national economy by its no-frills attached ,unanimous support to the seven wonders consortium (or whatever its called ),and now also that the TOI has so vividly and comprehensively taken up the mission of selecting 7 wonders frm amongst the indian marvels of construction -hoping to donate some money to the already moribund moblie companies in the indian market (well,thats what i beleive ,coz every1 these days seems to possess a mobile connection!!) ----- I thought why not bring out my own list on the -make no mistake -SEVEN SPOOFS OF THE WORLD


Yeah ,here i present to you those endearments of life which have become so bijou that they have created a mirage in front of us that we cant seem to get out of our lowly brains .You may not necessarily agree with me in this regard ,and in any case ,I dont intend to earn any approbation for this post ,but pardon me ,though earthy being ,and bear me at ur own will !!

1) Technology :
yeah yeah ,now u'll wonder why ,inspite of being a proud student of the indian institute of "technology",and the proud owner of most advanced tech bijoutery such as the latest laptop and mobile phone and what not ,i still consider this boon to be the biggest bane ever befallen on mankind. In my opinion, inspite of all the beguling appearances of the gizmos and the sophistry that comes along with it , not to forget how they've managed to connect people and simplify our lives @ the click of a button - has somehow trapped us into an inescapable ravine ,and cast a spell on we muggles,which has left us in a daze ,and we've forgotten how to do the most basic chores in the most elemental way -we instead scamper for that instrument or gadget which we can so conveniently use ,and which ,with time has enslaved us . Take for example -the mobile phones .Yes i do agree that its now easier to store numbers ,easier to talk to somebody without having to go through somebody else first ,and know where exactly a person is at the given moment .But just imagine this situation - ur'e waiting for ur girl ,and she doesnt show up till 2 mins after the time that she had promised -what will you do ??Just call her and order her to amble along at the earliest or face the consequences?? But ,then dont u think it would've been so much better if u had instead waited for an hour and she'd have pleaded with you for forgiveness...i mean how often do we find that happening -a girl running after a guy for a folly she most often would commit!!!
And now with electricity going wireless and provosions to switch off the entire house's power supply at the click of a button ,wer'e sure to land up in wheelchairs ,not requiring to twitch even a muscle and let ourselves be handicapped and taken over by a new civilization -the mechizmos... Until then sit back n relax ...n enjoy

2) Nuclear weapons and WMDs: I guess i can afford to win a hands down supprt for this point ..there's no point repeating all the hazards of something that has the potential to wipe out humanity ,and any lifeform still surviving ,and the fact that its sumthing designed by the hands of our own people is the biggest irony .
Guess what ,1940s -the world wars at their peak ,people working out a strategy to save the world from the german onslaught and researching over new weapons to safeguard their interests .They brainstorm ,and what do they come up with as a plausible solution?? A nuclear warhead to wipe out a whole japanese city and give birth to more advanced forms of destruction... Nay..dont u think had u and i been thinkin abt a soluton at that time ,we would have definitely reached a concensus -ceasefire and do away with arms and adopt pigeons instead ...But our leaders were kinda great and swimming in complacency and pride ,and conveniently paved the way for the frightful ,and a world where agoraphobia and claustrophobia dont carry much of a difference , a world where we live with so much terror on the street as we do in our own homes!!!

3) Drinks,fags and drugs : What a pity -as i see more n more of my friends go down the unchatered paths and ruin themselves with each drag of a marlboro ,with nobody around to stop them from doing it ...its a world where we constantly try to find the way to reduce the smoke coming out of our car exhausts and chimneys in the industries ,and a world where where global warming has overcome any other form of concern ...and yet seeing someone smoking "in" or smoking "up",keeps us non-plussed with so much as a fickle smile ...
Yes ,with the changing world scenarios and the absolution of nuclear families ,and a more competetive world ,its normal for anybody to feel the pressure ,to feel the heat ,and then in the most convenient way -he gets an option to run from it all by giving up the feeling of being alive .yes ,that feeling of trance gives a momentary satisfaction and an uncanny feeling of being above all the worries and tensions and 'i-give-a-damn' demeanour to the person in question ,but theres more to it than meets the eye -and even as these stimulants act up rapidly and make us lose our senses ,make us see things which we want to see ,keeping away those that we dont -they simultaneously tear away the biological functions ,play games with the body's faculties and prepares it for the ultimate disaster -addiction.
No wonder these days ,everybody seems to land up at a rehab!!

4) K-soaps: I hope i can drive home this particular point without even having to go into the works ...

This is how it goes...u pick up a bunch of desperate tribe of teeny and tweeny bloopers ,who have lived unto this day for a career in acting ,and those who boast of mediocre looks and loads of attitude ,besides being non-allergic to the use of inconsiderate amounts of glycerine ...u give them a complete wardrobe overhaul ...the girls with traditional indian clothing of all shapes and sizes ,and jewellery that would make one wonder if they stole a jewellery store sometime...the guys with any kind of un-Indian urbane clothing...u rent out a big bungalow in a posh area of mumbai...u draw a master plan comprehesively covering every possible relationship that can supposedly exist between 2 people in the world ,and put them all under one roof,along with a women -oriented story and a rich-family-varied-troubles tango...and its a deal..the K soap is ready to roll...with a fascinating name and an equally fascinating jingle, every other timE!!!
isnt the world already so sick of tensions and misunderstandings brewing in their personal relationships that they seem to find ways out of it at every possible instance...why ,then,are these soaps awarded with a fan -following which could envy any big budget commercial venture!!!

All the melodrama and the unnecessary situations are almost cliched now for every soap ...yet,whenever a new one is around the corner ,it is much awaited by the junta ,especially living in the non-metro areas of the country ,and even when they know its the same saas-bahu-damaad-my-foot saga everytime they still stick to their TV screens with surprising candour!!! Hats off i say to whatever makes these soaps tick with the masses so feverishly...

5)Politics and politicians: Yea yea were talkin abt the same ol khadi clad politicos of the country ..who have been largely evergreen in their demeanour and practices ,and have been least affected by the changing values and traditions of the society...its so very surprising that those who had been chosen by the people and for the people have become so self obsessed that people are the last thing that theyd ever care about... in their hunger for power and wealth ,they've crossed all ethical and moral boundaries and no amt of whipping can get them back on line....i wonder how ,even after being fraught wuth so many discrepancies in their academic and cultural background ,they manage to nab the most lucrative postions in the administration of a country ,which is the second largest growing economy in the world!!!
Theyr'e simply one of a kind,and need special mention...god only knows how this country is making giant leaps even with such intrepid men at the helm...

6) Football:
Now u might blame my inexpicable mention of a harmless game to my being a truant cricket fan and appreciatee,but there are certainly some defects in football which appal me ,and the fact the people playin and watchin it can overlook em fr the sheer nothingness that the game has to offer surely reserves its place in the spoofs list!!!Here are some of em:

• It is played on that great tract of uncultivated land-so square and even in shape that it could have been instead congested with happy and prosperous agricultarists..My concern fr the harmful effects it has on the agrarian economy can well be illustrated by this example-Every footballer destroys twenty turnips a day... I say ,cant this talent of being able to kick a football with elan be put to better practices viz. kickin a law-breaker's butt!!!
  
• It is such a sport where the match often ends in a pallid score of 0-0 or say love all !!!I mean ,what a waste of male fatuity...what else,can better ilustrate the contradictions and futilities of this man made sport?? two parties of 11 men each,fightin over a single ball ,and not scoring any point even afer hours of head cracking and foot tapping!!!Pheww...
  
• the fact that even after decades of playin this game ,no positive evolution has taken place so far ...had it been the bastion of sensible men,they would have conceived by now to carry to the field a bomb,a horse-whip or even a hat-pin!!! Atleast that would have ensured a result
  
• Theres this autocratic official called referee who keeps on showing cards of different colours and still fails to have the players from removing their shirts and maintaing the game's decorum.We see this man blowing a whistle and refusing to allow one burly player a goal which he had scored. And what did the player ,the craven ,do?? Did he ,like a man of spirit ,hunger strike?? nay,he took it lying down!!! What a pity!!

7)Love: Now im not explaining this one....i leave it to your imagination to cast it in whatever light u want to...and even if u cant find a reason to put in the spoofs list...i suggest u just take it as my dogma or whatever without too much questioning...its my list and so its me who decides what goes in and what stays out....and fr that matter something as uncertain and short-lived as love surely is the biggest spoof i've ever known!!