SWEET NOVEMBER...

It's never too hard to find the words
The words to say to you
You make it so easy just to talk
The way we talk things through
You're never too tired to care
You're never too busy to just be there
And when I smile my feelings show
So everybody, everybody knows

Lookin back on d memory
of d dance v shared 'neath the starts above
I remember my frnd say-"lets jus go upto where those 2 girls r "
(He's a 10 pointer,these were lines he wasn't suppose 2 say)
and me say-"Let them be,theyr'e prob enjoyin,who r v to spoil d fun??"
Bt somehow,he vanishd and left to myself was I
No other option in sight,i sneaked into the merriment
twas jus the company i njoyed...

You say my bad times kicked off d day v talked,
bad times they were
Cleaning the room till 2 in d nite
With A+M written on my wall
was no fun at all
but never ever had i thought,
that those 2 words,or more as u said would carry us this far

you were surely the one who kept the strings intact
How else wud i hv known that there's somebody who keeps knockin on my backdoor
nd who remembers me
fr the chocolate i sumhow had to give
to any girl dat i cud see
how did i kno dat you'll be the 1 to drop by??

The trip we did take
nd many a smile did u fake
bt i didnt give up coz somehow i did feel
that sumday,it wud turn real
Real is it,i still dont kno
Coz how buffs smile isn't my expertise!!

You say i've crossed the line
bt everythin still seems so foggy
nd i wish i cud've more time
to see thru the real u
And2 see things the way u see

You make me feel funny
When you come around
Yeah that's what I found out
You make me feel happy
When I leave you behind
It plays on my mind now
What am I doing without you

Just wana tell u...
We got a little world of our own
I tell you things that no one else knows
I let you in where no-one else goes
i never kno why
And all of the things I've been looking for
Have always been here outside of my door
And all of the time I'm looking for something new
i never kno why

I wanna thank you for this smile
But I don't say this much
It's usually not my style
I was sleeping and yesterday
You gave my world a shakin'
My eyes are open wide

And even as i type ,
a song plays in the background
Maybe quoting it wud help me write further-
"I can't imagine any greater fear
Than waking up without you here
And though the sun would still shine on
My whole world would all be gone
But not for long

If I had to run
If I had to crawl
If I had to swim a hundred rivers
Just to climb a thousand walls
Always know that I would find a way
To get to where you are
There's no place that far
It wouldn't matter why we're apart
Lonely months, two stubborn hearts
........."
coincidently apt lines,they may be...
Srry fr dat short commercial break...

just wanna remind u once again-
"Softly the leaves of mem'ry would fall,
Slowly i'll gather nd pick em all..
Coz 2day,tomorow,nd till my life's thru,
I'll always cherish knwin some1 lyk u"

I often wonder why,
Someone as flawed as I
deserved to be written about
Funny how life can be so surprisin...
dunno hw the better angels of our nature
after a long fight with our inner demons
bring us back into our senses...
and make us see
things v never earlier beleive

Dunno hw 2 continue
bt its alwaz the best feelin
to see things from somebody's eyes...
to put it in words is the most difficult task...
Its the end of an year,
what unexpectdness lies ahead,nobody knows...
forgive me if i've said sumthin wrong all thru

hope i get the message through...

SPIRIT OF YULETIDE..

Isn't it simply great...as the world celebrates and parties,i'm typing away to glory...

The autumn leaves are falling
the church bells are ringing
the angels are singing
and the world is brimming
with joy and laughter

Another christmas comes by
and the children's grins are oh-so-shy
as they wait for santa in his sleigh to mistify,
their world which forever had seemed so dry

The christmas trees decorated pompously
and the brownies n puddings baked heartfully
the presents exchanged cheerfully
and the children playin gleafully
Gimme a reason to lose myself
in the spirit of the yuletide

People celebrating far and wide
transcending all boundaries and every tide
from this spirit nobody can hide
with this thread every soul is tied
On his reindeers ,santa would ride
and gift a smile to anyone who cried

While the shephards watched their flocks by night
they saw a bright new shining star
they heard a choir sing a song
the music seemed to come from afar
A King was born, the legend says
Jesus Christ was he,nobody else was at par

The reaths at every door hanging,
The cribs and the bells so invigorating
tell the tale of times fascinating
and the Krismukkah festivities neverending

On this auspicious day I feel
my soul blessed wih ultimate zeel
To offer my prayer i kneel
my spirit ,i hope,He would heal
In the pain of my silent revery i reel
Would the angels take me to a place so real??

And as everyone gets into hues red and white
i lie emotionless in my sleepless slumber
Ain't there anybody who just might
knock on my door and show me that light??
the love that would feel so right
and releive me from this sorrowful plight

A silent night,a star above
a blessed gift of hope and love
Joyous songs & christmas cheer
the spirit of yuletide is everywhere
"Bah!Humbug!!"-I would still jeer
coz i'm alone and nobody's near...

CRAP CRAP CRAP!!!

Another of my lame attempts at poetry ...It seems now i'm gonna break all the records of writing most number of crap poems within 2 months...Bt still if u find sumthin gud,don't hesitate to encourage me to go on and break dat record!!!

In the morning full of sunshine
he wakes up to the sound of birds chirping
For every touch of the autumn winds felt so fine
he had no reason at all to be complaining

But compelled was he
To interpret those dreams
which in his slumber had made him see
valleys of flowers,snowy cliffs,fruit laden trees,
all things bright and beautiful,and free,
and flowing from the mountains ,evergreen streams

The moon so pretty
and beyond the sun brightly shining,
the oceans so mighty
and creatures great and small whining

He wonders why he can't be there
where the skies are blue and the fields are green
He wonders why dreams are never true
And why there ain't memories and moments so serene

Why the river always flows to the sea
Even though he's thirsty and broken
Can't neone see??
Or to wash away the tears with which his feet are sodden
as he fought for things never meant to be

With craziness perplexed
He sees new hope in every dawn
But he still feels vexed
coz in life's cruel game,he's just a meaningless pawn...

Angel!!(copyright-shubham khurana)

I don't usually do it..but there's a first time for everything...I read this beautiful poem on shubham's blog and just fell in luv with it...nd somehow it also best describes my position(rather disposition)...i cudn't hv put it in better words....so here i am copyin the entire thing...well shubhi dude,i'm ready to face the gallows fr copyright infringement,but i can't keep myself frm puttin up ur creation here...But u can also consider it a free publicity...with all due respects to the masterpeice,here it goes...

"A canvas, so lifeless,
An artist, so lone,
An angel, he painted,
An angel of his own.

On the creation, he smiled,
His heart no longer at strife,
The last stroke of his brush,
And the angel came to life.

She gave him a world to live,
Emotions to feel,
She gave him a life to love,
Also wounds to heal.

A friend to rely on,
She gave him joys to share,
Times of his sorrow,
She always was there.

A smile on his lips,
Countless tears in his eyes,
Every feeling to remind him,
Yes he still survives.

She gave him a reason to sleep,
And a day to wake up to,
A kiss to set him ablaze,
Some magic her embrace could do.

Everyday he used to paint,
In blues and reds and yellows,
The colours of life,
Of love and sadness and mellows.

Till the day she became too real,
She had to be set free,
To teach the world to love,
And left to himself was he."

-SHUBHAM KHURANA

dirtynarcissist.blogspot.com

Everybody's in love...

It was another normal day of the autumn semester break,when frustated IITians from all over the country decided to hang out at the colonial times' splendour -our very own CP.And when i say IITians frm all over the country ,i literally mean it,coz there were ppl frm as near as IIT Delhi,our very own IIT roorkee,IIT Kharagpur, to as far as IIT Guwahti...Yeah ,it was our fiitjee batch reunion which keeps taking place after every gruelling sem ends and every dilliwala is back here ...

We had decided to catch up at PVR Plaza ,although none of us was in a mood to watch a movie...I was travelling in the metro after more than 2 months ,with my earphones tugged properly ,blaring out the sweet voice of the chirpy RJs...After much time, i saw many beatiful maiden around me,but nah!! i reminded myself of my vow-staying away frm girlz fr some time now,though i know i wont beable to keep it fr too long..As usual ,i was the first to reach and instead of waiting fr others just idling around ,i entered a nearby music world store,after i had given up a call to every1 to rush up.After making sure that Westlife's new album had reached Indian shores,i browsed some other english music cd's...As every1 showed up one by one,we talked for a while(the usual IIT bakar,the gruelling end sems,and the sex-ratio frustation..) and then made our way to the nearest Pizza hut to have that usual pizza...After taking about half an hour or so deciding an ideal order so that we could eat well and still end up walking out without having to wash dishes ,we called up the by-now frustrated waitress(wer'e IITians,we take our frustrationwherever we go...) and ordered 2 meals for 2,and asked her to swap the soups with cold-drinks...we were taken aback as the chinky-eyed waitress replied in her typical accent-"we have lots of soups ,and they are very tasty...so we can't swap the soups!!!"Whoa,what a reason for not being able to swap those fucked up soups with the universal coke...Whatever,we sat again and put our IIT brains at work once again to decide something out of the box...only to come up with 2 familysized pizzas...We ate ,talked a lot about our very similar schedules(this is india-unity in diversity,remember???),about our similarly screwed up end sems,and many other useless things...We went out of the place after 4 girls had just rung the pizza hut bell,and heard almost equally enthu and polite "thank you's" frm thestaff...and expecting to get the same treatment ,we guyz also rung the bell one after the another...and by the end of it,we were standingoutside the door,asking each other,"Hey,didu hear any thank you's??" ...Every1 of us had a good laugh...lets face it,we were a group of guyz,and who cares to answer 5 assholes ringing the bell !!!We strolled for some more time at cp,wondering about unusual things,and throwing that occasional curse on the punk with a beatifulgirl tugging at his sleeve every now and then ...

I thought the day 's gonna be over widout anything eventful happening and just as me,along wid kunal and anirudh made our way to themetro station,kunal somehow jumped and wid a slow whisper ,said-"Look ,rastogi !!"(rastogi'z one of my best frnds btw) I turned aroundand almost spun 360 deg in an effort to locate wat kunal had just seen...and finally saw him on the escalator going up ,while we were going down...But the thing that amazed me and kunal was that he wasn't alone...rather looked really absorbed conversingwith this girl we didn't know....i mean ,i didn't know how to react coz he's the kinda guy who wudn't come to ur b'day bash if u told hima girl is coming,and would not say a single word to a girl until just a few months ago...But now a seat in IIT D had changed im to the extent that when i called up to him and wanted to talk,he simply said-"We'll talk later ,main ghoomke aata hun..."Even as kunal laughed,i was hurt ( wat wud u do if ur best frnd ignores u fr a girl!!)...and we suddenly started talking about how this guy had been transforming frm a no-holds barred teatoddler and anti-girly to a completely abnormally normal "delhi"guy -mostly seen around with girls!!Suddenly ,the topic of our conversation shifted to girlz...with anirudhh baba commenting-"yaar dont u think girls become too seriousabout every relationship...if u wanna go around with em,they would straightaway think of marriage,they would get senti on every issue,suddenly become too frank to tell ya about all da probs at home...and blah blah blah..."That was enough"pravachan "for the day...But he continued.."i had such an experience this year,and i had to dump her..." ,and the usual boastful self kunal ,chipping in withhis,"hey ,i dumped one too becoz of the same reason....",and even though as i knew it was coming,they both looked at me suddenly,askin ,"what about u"...and me not wantin to talk abt the subject ..."yeah...maybe....well...mite be...i dont know...",and the 2 laughingheartily,"poor you ,not had the experience till yet..."(hehe very funny...),and the topic dragged on till i reached my station...

I waz wondering once again..."
why was i chosen ,
why am i left without??"

As the old leaves fall in the autumn,
love is blooming on the barren trees...
And as i watch all this happening outside my window
I feel everybody BUT me...
seems to be so in love...

I'll Be There For You...

This is for every1 and any1 who has bin there fr me,and will always be there,and fr those who matter.....

Someone sumwhere
is feeling lonely
Someone sumwhere
needs some company
Someone sumwhere
needs someone badly
But when it all gets too much...
You can put your head down
on my shoulder
for a little warmth
when it gets colder
I know ur'e there for me too
So i'll be there for you

When i needed some distance
to find another road
Coz its not so easy
to find another home
I was broken
and i knew it
But i just cudn't seem to find
another way
I'll be there for you now
As you had been till the end of the day..

There's a long road ahead
It stretches out for miles
If u need some company
I'll walk with you awhile
Your'e waiting for the change
Your'e waiting for the day
But now that you remember
I'll do whatever you say

I'll be there for you
i swear
Anytime you want me
i'll be there
Time and time again
Until you understand..

When u feel like crying
I'll be the tissue to wipe away ur tear
When u feel the need to talk
I'll be there to lend u an ear
I'll be your symphony
when ur'e surrounded by agony
and this world's cruel cacophony
I'll be your wastebox
when u feel the need to dump
all your pain and frustration
and in moments of triumph
I'll be the one to help u lift your trophy...

But just remember when it all gets too much...
You can put your head down
on my shoulder
for a little warmth
when it gets colder
I know ur'e there for me too
So i'll be there for you......

~~Memoirs of the 3rd Semester~~

The end of another sem,
another milestone achieved...
It all looks simple and straightforward,
Yet every other thing i'm gonna say
is intertwinned with so many other things
which i won't ...

This was the sem that finally brought us back
to the stinking halls of the E&C deptt...
to the wooden chairs of the big lecture rooms..
And all that ,after comfort of the DOMS sofas
after the relaxed periods of slumber in the posh and airy hall.
One which brought us to new faces(read proffs)
and even those that r gonna suck our bloods
for the next 3 yrs...
One which brough many a conspiracies to the fore...
one where we had lots to gossip about..
One which introduced us to "counter-strike"
and the endless addictive nights we spent
either planting or defusing bombs
until we never knew it was the next morning...

I dedicate this sem to "people"...
all kinds and classes of people...
and the endless hours of bakar...
To the old "friends" who've faded away sumhow...
to the "new" ones that've made their presence felt...
and to the ones that are still holding on...
To the small community that we've created at rjb...
To the people who gave me a new nickname-"aupsy"
after all those distressing nicknames i had to live with in 1st year
To the endless hours i spent at nesci...
(fr that i'll like to thank my mom,dad ,my paltu kutta tommy ...
Nahh!!!I just wanna thank shubhi and preeti...)
Even though my first year count stands at 5 hours
(can't beleive it ...well,even i can't!!)
To the endless hours i spent bickering away
on topics far more irrelevant
than any important work at hand...
To all the gf-bf talk that i found myself thrown in
and to all the matters which i made worse
(my orkut trusty ratings say it all..)
And not to forget to all the profs
who reduced my brain to a peice of shit
and who forced me to read sidney sheldons and P.G.Wodehouses
in more than a given lecture...

And today as i pack my bags
I strut em with more than the usual stuff...
I take home more than just the inseperable laptop and mouse....
I take home memories(for the first time at IITR)
of moments gone by ,words left unsaid ...
situations went awry and the friendships that went sore...
I take home ...
all the luck that ppl wished me dis sem...
all the night-outs and skipped breakfasts...
all the chapos that i was entitled to this sem(surprisingly though)...
all the endless hours spent writing endless codes of C++
with the orkut window minimized and regularly updated...
the endless no. of holidays that we got
and the endless bus journeys we took back home
and with that the endless no. of muvies
seen on the bus T.V.("balma" notwithstanding...;0)..)
the diwali celebrated pompously
with crackers and diyas and candles and a DJ(and a lost purse)...
the thomso that followed
and the hysteria that accompanied
the groves and moves of melange and salsa
the MTV cameo wid none other than Braocha
the 4 days of of dj
and all the new moves tried and tested
the expected and the unexpected companies
and the happy pictures painted....
The b'day bumps i got
and the pain in the ass that i can still feel
And finally...with the end sems that screwed us royally
everything feels just so real...

Not to forget all those things which i did fr the first time at iitr...
Of course the 3-0 clock sleeping schedule...
The try at being the next sampras
when i could hardly hit the tennis ball to the other side...
The endless hours spent watching "friends" and "O.C."
The life with braces
which left me(the erstwhile Mr. thomso finalist... ;o)...) in titters
and the target of more than just somebody's jeers
The childhood prayers sung at school and
now after a gap of 2 yrs sung at the church..
The endless no. of b'day wishes..
and now even a b'day gift!!

From all the things mentioned above
and everything that feels so great
i head back
to the city of lights...
the city of the metro swirling by...
my city...saddi dilli
To have my eternal brownie
and looking forward to all the unexpectedness
that lies ahead in the bewilderness...