Me AGAINST Myself!!

Hmm...no particular reason for this post....just coz things stagnate too quickly and become stale,i dnt want my blog to be destined towards such an ill-fate...
And if u've come here before, u might have already noticed the make-over ,or whatever u'd wanna call it ,of my little blog ,and just to bring ur attention to the state of affairs, i'd want u to scroll down to the bottom too....not that i want any adulation or credit for the sudden beautification or mortificaton(whichever u prefer) of this space...all i want is that nthin "new" shud be missed out...lolz...



Ok,now that ur'e most probably back from the trip down memory lane(read a scroll-down-my-blog-and-back-to-post), you must have diverted ur attention to the appearance of the spidey ...and if ur'e mind is racing too fast, it wud've also duped you into thinkin that like many others,i've also bin caught wid d spidey-bug(both literally and figuratively). And even though ur imagination has quite hit the bull's eye(and why wouldn't it....given the fact that the bull itself has a gigantic eye!!)..that's not quite the purpose of this pic here. If u know me well, the thought that it must have had some philosophical significance must've already hit ur head at the first go itself(though u'd not hesitate to admit that i managed to get u stray on to unwanted territory all this while!)...

Dunno why but this pic kinda gives me a sense of deja-vu,u know..the bin there done that kinds(and why wouldnt it,given the fact that i was spidey-dized in the paint-a-face competition long back)...but still it runs down deeper than that,and kinda reflects a universal truth....that of the dark side in all of us...somewhere hidden deep in the intricacies of our souls,and one which makes its presence felt from time to time...an inseperable and yet loathed part of the human psyche and as well-blended (or ill-blended ) u might prefer as coffee with milk,or sugar wid ice-cream(or the other way or whatever)....ahem,ahem.....no taste-bud-tingling here plz....

I know some of us will find this idea achrimonious and sulk if i start elaborating upon it,but i cant help it...its my blog and u can very well go satisfy ur whims and fancies and take sadistic pleasure outta them.....

Now if ur'e still stuck reading this,u'll be waitin fr me to unleash my philospohy ...well,if thats the case....let me make it simpler.Think of the following scenarios:

1)Ur'e sitting alone (or wid a bunch of frnds) ,having a nice coke,a burger and chatting non-chalantly,or to make it better ,sitting on one of those couches at mochas/CCDs...and u suddenly notice a guy all over a hot-babe in a nearby couch,and it all might seem so lucrid to you...but u'll newaz be wishing that somehow the very next moment,the girl slaps him and u manage to steal her attention wid a twinkle in ur eye!!

2) Ur'e watchin an important match between India and Australia,and at the very last delivery when India need 2 runs to win( and keep it the world cup final to make it better)...ur girlfriend comes and turns off the TV,takin the authority of the remote control,and pops the question...wont u just think once -"Why the devil r u here...just go and hang urself frm the ceiling fell....god damn it,i'm watchin the final deleivery of the final!!!!"(dnt blame me if the scene seems straight outta PKSE)

3)Ur'e girlfriend ditches u ....and the very next day u r seen flirting away wid girls and acting like a gigolo....even though u still love ur gf,who isnt yet an ex....but u can do anythin to induce jealousy!!!(the same funda can be applied in case ur'e a girl,though i'm srry if ur;e not dat kinda girl!!Bt what the hell....y shud i b sorry for it!!)

4)When at the naive adolscent age ,u were jealous of that classmate alwaz scoring marks higher than u ,or winning the praise and applause of most of the people around...and for once u wished -"Why doesnt he get killed in a car mishap??" or worse still...plotted a whole story to show him/her down in front of the others..



I guess this much is enough to illustrate that bit of demon which sits inside all of us....
On a more philosophical note ,we all ,at some point ,have enjoyed playin the demon...but in the process we hv failed to realize what it can do to the other person...All the above scenarios were thought in a very sarcastical manner ,and i myself havent bin akin to them at any stage of my life...but what i'm trying to say is ,havent we all changed ourselves in some way or the other and modelled our personalities on the basis of what's decent and what's not, just so that we can gain greater acceptability in a society that has defined arbit rules and regulations to judge a person...

Havent we all had our times,when we stood in front of the mirror,and wondered -"Whats happened to me -am i still the same guy that i was???" What we see is not a reflection of our own selves ,but what the world has made of us...all those bruises and pain are all visible and so is the insesitivity ,and aloofness that's left our li'l brain cells addled... The familiar voice that still speaks out frm the depths of our hearts is still audible ,but do we really want to hear it??? Do we really want to give a chance to those very emotions that have let us down everytime ,everytime we laid our trust on somebody ,or something that felt familiar outta the crimson lives that we lead..

Bruised ,broken ,let-down,all of us have perpetually put that mask on our faces ,to hide our true selves from this world,to seek comfort in that cocoon we built for ourselves,to remain under the ageis of only our pure soul,the only part of us which is still untouched ,and which still lives... Its so much better to show off this part of us which doesnt even exist and why not,when every1 just seems to love it and swear by it,and when everybody else does the same...we've learned to pretend and now we are so adroit at it that we seemlessly keep on doin it day after day...and even sometimes when we did let it fade and showed up our true selves ,this cruel world has pushed it further deep down,only to be taken place by a murkier mask,and this vicious cycle endlessly goes on...

Yes ,we are losing out ourselves in the race today,but we dont really have any option,coz our true selves arent allowed to participate ,leave alone move ahead...We think we know people,but what we have known is only that part of the reality which doesnt exists ,and the actuality alwaz seems to allude no matter how hard we try... its like a matrix that we ourselves programmed ,but forget to add that module to unplug it,and now wer'e stuck inside forever.... it doesnt then matter how many people are there close to us today,their realities are still far away,outta reach..and that makes us feel,lonely even in a crowd..

Yes ,people know my name..and they call me names too,some out of affection and some for no reason at all,but do they know me at all??? Have they ever seen through this hallucination they face??Forget that ,they dont even know themselves well....

I guess no point bragging about a lost cause ,coz newaz there's no point in trying to change our destinies,and its too late to change the path that we all have taken,and in any case there's no other path which isnt devoid of loneliness...for the moment let us seek solace in the fact that wer'e one among many ...nobody likes to be the pioneer of an unsuccessful movement,and what the heck...who has the tyme??All that we can hope is that this is a nightmare,which soon would end...and hope is all we've got...till then lets keep hating love,keep disrespecting respect ,keep treating others like zombies,keep tearing away feelings ,keep picking the thorns and throwin away roses,until one day a voice calls within you-

WAKE UP U MITE BE DREAMIN...

2 comments:

icy cold said...

r u sure u actually wanted to write sumthing...
I mean if thats the case..
Sir u forgot to...
still n effort is an effort...
n need be applauded...

Aupsy-The cOOlest One!! said...

i have lotsa tym 2 pass these days...so had to find a release...
n thx fr readin...
srry if there was sumthin offensive...bt i dnt think so coz i actually didnt mention anybody/anything...
keep chillin...

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