Dichotomy

The place that sells dreams,
bought our reality.
I grew up with you,
But I'm growing old without you

You and I still collide,
and yet we never meet.
My heart is empty with love
But my mind is filled with memories.

I'm your mess,
you're my misery.
I find your arms in my desolation
and a humbling loss in my ovation

And although I want to die for you,
I'm afraid that I won't live for you.
If I let you go,
will you still stay?
The day I found you,
was the day I truly lost you.


PS: This is an ode to 16 Jan, 2008

 

Passenger

We'd turn flying kisses into airplanes,
that'd cross continents braving the storms of hatred to deliver packages of love.
We'd co-pilot our passengers across frozen sands and melting ice fields
and co-author our destinies on air bridges of dreams.
Until the cargo of memories became too heavy to bear and the fuel ran out.
Until we flew right into a city with skyscrapers one too many, too bright to see reality
We crashed into each other, bursting into flames that burnt all shades of purple;
Burning hearts fell like shooting stars but broke into a million fireflies.
And although we never reached our destination, the world saw magic on the horizon.

Since then I've sent my love up in the sky to a thousand airplanes,
dropping coins in a wishing well, wishing you were a passenger in one of them
so that you could feel what I'm not allowed to say anymore,
but want you to hear all the same.
The wreckage of love lies trapped in these glass windows.
I still try to break them with my gaze because when they shatter,
I'll build my art of redemption from every small piece that still reflects your face.

-Written at the Howard Beach AirTrain station, JFK Airport, New York City

Shane Koyczan says,
"It is not enough to bury what hurts us;
We must eulogize it.
Lay flowers upon the headstone and remember that we once quested to understand it
We smile when we satisfy ourselves with knowing why
Or haunt ourselves with never knowing"

 

Burning Hearts

On an empty canvas of love,

they tried to paint a shade of red.

Little did they know then,

it'd be the colour of the tears they'll shed

They loved, until they couldn't love no more,

until their eyes burned with desire.

Little did they know then,

that their hearts would burn with fire

A fire, unquestioned, unrivaled, unscathed,

rose up from love's pyre.

Reminding them of unkept vows,

it consumed them in an untamed spire.

No water could ever extinguish its ire,

No rain ever quenched its thirst.

WIth all the tarnish eating into them,

Beng cold blooded is the only way they'd trust.

And all that's left in the end,

like fighting kites, like aimless darts,

fooled by love, fueled by love,

are two burning hearts.

Oh girl! Did you ever stop being vain?

Oh boy! Did you ever see her pain?

Once bitten twice shy,

but once burnt only rusts.

The colour of love starts to bleed,

until every drop is replaced with lust.

"Pick up the ashes and move on", they wonder,

"What about the faith broken?

What about that world you gave me and tore asunder,

Why did you just leave me yesterday as a token?"

Now life is all about hiding the scars,

listening to the broken symphony of what used to beat like a heart.

Learning to live in a world without a morning star,

Their canvas is black and white, love is a forgotten art.

And all that's left in the end,

like fighting kites, like aimless darts,

fooled by love, fueled by love,

are two burning hearts.

You Raise Me up

You raise me up so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas
I am strong when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up to more than I can be

I dont know when was the last time I truly felt this about someone in my life apart from God, ever since the time I went away from my grandparents and came to Delhi. I was barely 14 - left at my own to sail through the murky waters of life - without anyone to raise me up. And today when I look back, the very bonds that make a person who he is and raise him to become what he does - look all broken to me. A big question mark hangs when I try to recall parents, friends, relatives...

I'm sure it wasnt me who went wrong. I was only seeking something that this world wasnt ready to give - love. I've taken care of myself all this while - raising myself up on just one thing - an undying faith in love. But I'm so tired now of keeping undying faith in a dying commodity - my shoulders are so weak, that i wish someone were here to raise me up for a change.

What happened to us? Why did we all become so stone hearted? Why is all the love ( love not just between lovers, but in every sense of the wor(l)d ) out there busy playing ostrich - so afraid to stick its neck out and always afraid of being beaten back down?

Will anyone today say -
ab jaan lut jaaye
ye jahaan lut jaaye
sang pyaar rahe
main rahu na rahu...

Bah! Humbug.... love isnt worth dying for

One last question - what do all the above pics mean to you?

anything,everything.... for you...

Monday, December 1, 2008[photo courtesy: Nishi's blog]

A life that's hard enough
and a heart thats weak enough
it sometimes doesnt make sense
why they have to exist in a bluff
coz when one's squeezed out of the other
it wouldn't matter why...

To the cussed life its the heart that beats for it
To the lame heart, its the life that oozes out of it
This way they go on for years
trapped in a cauldron
that makes the life dry, and the heart bleed
makin it seem like a comedy of errors

It takes love to come by
for the life to learn to live
and the heart to learn to beat

The heart tells love i'll do everythin you want me to
The life says i wanna be a part of you
and each day they keep falling in love with love all the more
the truce is broken, enemy lines are drawn
to have their own happy endings and rewrite tales of yore

My heart and my life still fight
but when love asks me what I feel,
I say love
When it asks how I know, I say trust
But its never enough
coz I alwaz lose to the showy brilliance of my heart and my life.

Everytime I wanna tell you
That its every little thing you do
that makes me fall in love with you -
There isnt a way I can show you
ever since I've come to know you
And its every little thing you say
that makes my everyday
But there isnt a thing I can point to
maybe its every little thing you do

Its quite a fight to keep one's dreams alive
when the heart and life want to tear it in pieces,
in a million crossroads when there should be none
if only there were signs to show me what direction i should follow.
If i'm so deep in my wounds, maybe i'll be gone tomorrow
hey love, i dont want you to feel my sorrow
It'll be enough if you could pick up the pieces....pieces of me

You wont know my mind my love,
Not that it would ever make a difference
my heart and my life will never surrender
even if you take them away from me
but i promise they'll be with you till the end
they wont let you down

They'll fight for you now, together
with unflinching and undoubtable belief
They'll take you to your happy ending
and if i forget to be there,
i'll watch from afar..
and be glad that more than a part of me
could be a part of what was meant to be...

Divine Interventions ;)

Since this is the only thing ive written in the past 1 month...i thought why not put it up here as well ;)

Hey honey,

There's me....
walkin along a highway of broken dreams
There's you...
flyin strong and high over mighty seas
There's us...
A fresh bud of rose trembling in the winter wind
just like an artist's aquatint...

There's me...
yearning to be in the arms of the one
There's you
smiling at the moon and the sun
There's us
together sailing amidst the stars
we've lost trail of where's venus and where's mars...

Not everything is supposed to be left to chance
Some words just need to be said
I'll wait forever for even just a glance
Without you,I'll long be dead...



There's me...
the lone joker in the pack
There's you...
the puzzle of my heart that I just can't crack!
There's us..
we found each other when no one else was looking
there were never birds that were ever mocking ;)

There's me....
I'd walk across the desert with no shoes upon my feet
to share with you the last bite of bread I hate to eat
There's you...
who made my heart leap,my eyes gleam
to show me what love would mean
There's us...
We'd whisper love so loudly every hear could understand
That love, and only love, can join the tribes of men

Not everything is supposed to come true
Some words jus dont rhyme
If they arent written abt you
Loving you is my only crime...

_____________________________________________________________

N hope u will alwaz remember:
"theres thwo things i kno for sure-
she was sent frm heaven above
n shez the only girl i love...
I drop on my knees at her bed every night
She talks to God and i close my eyes
N i thank Him for all the joy in my life...
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayers,
Sticking li'l white flowers all up in her hair...
N after all the wrong,I mustve done somethin right
To deserve her hug every morning..
and butterfly kisses every night " :)

I love you....forever....

Ahh....Sheer bliss!!!

Hey people,m bak after a long sabbatical,and not here to write somethin to make u think or wonder ,rather show u somethin that would catch u in a timewarp and u mite as well end up wistfully wondering about how somethings in this world are just so beautiful ,and why exactly they keep on elluding us.

Since the inception of the autumn sem 07 ,every student at IITR ,has been caught by an innocuous bug of MP3 ,and by that i mean the "flop" movie-mera pehla pehla pyaar ,and i,am no exception to the case in point. And,therefore ,i thought why not put up this beautiful climax from the movie and get my reader's senses tingling like never b4 .

Everythin about this movie ,and this scene in particular is just so perfect ...the song,the locales,the kids...simply wonderful ...every1 who's seen it has this one thing to say -for the 3 hours that i sat watchin this movie ,it transported me into a completely surreal world,and yet a world which we all have experienced at some point in our lives ...its our own story,its every1's story...

I'm not publicising or writing any movie review ,i'm just using it to convey those strong emotions which everybody felt while watchin this movie...So go ahead enjoy the kiss alongside eiffel...and mind u ,the music rox!!!

PS:It'll take about 5 mins to load on a high speed connection...bt its worth the wait
PS2: Dont forget to turn on ur speakers!!!